Funny Gambling Quotes

Gambling is primarily a form entertainment. The various elements of gambling experience are designed to entertain your – from bells and whistles of slot machines to the dazzling colors and shapes of the tables.

Live music and bars at land-based casinos keep the party going, while online gaming is exciting because you can get rewarded with loyalty points, and you can play from anywhere and anytime you want.

Although gambling is often associated with addiction, studies prove that the situation is not as severe as many would think. According to researchers, only 5 to 8 percent gamblers show signs of addiction. Most gamblers are just there for the fun of it, enjoying the thrill of roulette or strategizing while playing blackjack or poker with a tasty cocktail in hand.

Although winning is not always possible, it’s what keeps you coming back.

Chico Marx, a comedian, described it best: “If today is a loss, tomorrow will be a win. If today is victorious, tomorrow will be a loss.” It’s not fun to be certain of everything.

Many other notable figures also had opinions about gambling. They found humor in the loss and praised the unpredictable nature of luck.

Phil Hellmuth, a professional poker player, stated that “if there wasn’t luck involved I would win every single time.”

We have compiled some of the most hilarious quotes about gambling from many famous people, including scientists like Albert Einstein and ancient philosophers like Publilius Syrus.

These lines will bring a smile to your face, no matter if you are a seasoned player or just try your luck in the casino.

Wayne Gretzky: “You will always miss 100% of shots that you don’t take.”

Yugoslav Proverb: “Nine gamblers could not feed a single rooster.”

Unknown: “Eat your betting cash but don’t bet your betting money.”

John Milton Hay: “True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home.” 

Wilson Mizner: “The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.”

Kin Hubbard: “The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.”

Jeanette Winterson: “Gambling is not a vice, it is an expression of our humanness. We gamble. Some do it at the gaming table, some do not. You play, you win, you play, you lose. You play.”

Publius Syrus: “The better the gambler the worse the man.”

Julius Weintraub: “The guy who invented gambling was clever, but the guy who developed chips was a genius.”

card game in casino

Samantha Bee: “Last year people won more than one billion dollars playing poker. And casinos made twenty-seven billion just by being around those people.”

Cara Bertoia: “It’s hard to walk away from a winning streak, even harder to leave the table when you’re on a losing one.”

Baltasar Gracian: “Quit while you’re ahead. All the best gamblers. “Quit while you’re ahead. All the best gamblers do.”

Terry Murphy: “A gambler never makes the same mistake twice. It’s usually three or more times.” 

James Hauenstein: “Sitting there, it is impossible to change your luck. But, you can always change the machine you are at!”

Mark Zuckerberg: “The greatest risk is not taking one.” 

Heywood Hale Broun: “The urge to gamble is so universal and its practice so pleasurable that I assume it must be evil.”

Dan Bennett: “One of the healthiest ways to gamble is with a spade and a package of garden seeds.”

Seneca: “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity.”

“The house doesn’t beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself.” Nick Dandalos

Unknown: “Luck always seems to be against the man who depends on it.”

“There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.” Jack Yelton

Phil Hellmuth: “If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time.”

Jimmy Jones: “A man’s gotta make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it.”

Elbert Hubbard: “The only man who makes money following the races is the one who does so with a broom and shovel.”

Nikolai Gogol: “Gambling is the great leveler, all men are equal at cards.”

Henry Ward Beecher: “Gambling with cards or dice or stocks is all one thing. It’s getting money without giving an equivalent for it.”

Toba Beta: “Gambling is an act of faith of gamblers.Prophecy is an act of faith of the saints.”

John Dewey: “Luck, bad if not good, will always be with us. But it has a way of favoring the intelligent and showing its back to the stupid.” 

“There are two great pleasures in gambling: that of winning and that of losing”– French Proverb

Jack McClelland: “To be a poker champion, you must have a strong bladder.” 

Leonard Marx: “If I lose today, I can look forward to winning tomorrow, and if I win today, I can expect to lose tomorrow. A sure thing is no fun.”

Doyle Brunson: “In order to be a successful gambler you have to have a complete disregard for money.” 

Albert Einstein: “The only way to beat roulette is to steal money when the croupier isn’t looking.”

Sir Ernest Cassel: “When I was young, people called me a gambler. As the scale of my operations increased I became known as a speculator. Now I am called a banker. But I have been doing the same thing all the time.”

Bert Ambrose: “You don’t gamble to win. You gamble so you can gamble the next day.”

Ian Fleming: “At gambling, the deadly sin is to mistake bad play for bad luck.” 

Gloria Steinem: “Someone asked me why women don’t gamble as much as men do, and I gave the commonsensical reply that we don’t have as much money. That was a true and incomplete answer. In fact, women’s total instinct for gambling is satisfied by marriage.”

Paul Bamikole: “I wonder what inspires gamblers. Is it the adventure or the love of laziness?”

Ambrose Bierce: “The gambling known as business looks with severe disfavor on the business known as gambling.” 

Alan Wykes: “Gambling is a way of buying hope on credit.”

Paul Newman: “A dollar won is twice as sweet as a dollar earned.”

Dutch Boyd: “Poker is a lot like sex. Everyone thinks they are the best, but most don’t have a clue what they are doing.”

Nadia Scrieva: “I can never gain something without losing everything I had before.”

French Proverb: “Gambling is the son of avarice and the father of despair.”

Mike McDermott: “If you can’t spot the sucker in the first half hour at the table, then you ARE the sucker.”

Stephen Hawking: “All the evidence shows that God was actually quite a gambler, and the universe is a great casino, where dice are thrown, and roulette wheels spin on every occasion.”

Jerry Lewis: “Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I’ve been winning fortunes, and I’ve been losing them.” 

George Bernard Shaw: “In gambling, the many must lose in order that the few may win.”

Bud Flanagan: “No dog can go as fast as the money you bet on him.”

different currency notes

Frank Scoblete: “The slot machines sit there like young courtesans, promising pleasures undreamed of, your deepest desires fulfilled, all lusts satiated.” 

Franz Rosenthal: “The subject of gambling is all encompassing. It combines man’s natural play instinct with his desire to know about his fate and his future.” 

“I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it’s meant to be, which is fun and entertaining.” – Michael Jordan

Ambrose Bierce: “Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.”

English Proverb: “The best way to throw the dice is to just throw them away.”

Mark Twain: “Baccarat is a game whereby the croupier gathers in money with a flexible sculling oar, then rakes it home. If I could have borrowed his oar I would have stayed.”

George Bernard Shaw: “The roulette table pays nobody except him that keeps it. Nevertheless a passion for gaming is common, though a passion for keeping roulette tables is unknown.”

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